Monday, April 24, 2006
Face The Music
I've been having some trouble in my life this past winter/spring. Some of you know and many others have probably deduced as much through this blog. The thing is that I've spent my entire adult life working to be a musician. I have hardly put any energy into anything else in my life. Not my home, none of my relationships and certainly not my health. So I am faced now with the results of that choice. I am 40, overweight and definately lonely. I am however not depressed or at least not seriously depressed. I think this is the reason that I'm putting so much effort into my yard and my house these days. As I work through this period I want to remember to not let the pendulum swing too far the other way. I seek a balance to my life not a complete change. I don't want to stop the music, just let other things take their natural place in my life.
My Own Personal Easter
What I'm trying to find is my own renewal. I am seeking the rebirth of my seasons and the energy that comes after a long winter nap. I long to remember the feeling of expectation when you've spent all winter in school and Spring Break is just around the corner. Then comes the freedom of summer, of endless days hanging out at the beach or at the local hangout.
I have started riding my bike to work and for small errands. My legs feel like rubber and I'm learning to dress better for the weather but overall I feel pretty good about it. Now if only I could figure out the spandex shorts I'd have it made.
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Hal, your commitment is inspiring.
You know a lot of musicians have had to make the same decisions you're making right now, whether it's due to lifestyle, family, loneliness, addiction, exhaustion, or just losing their way along the road.
The great thing is that when you choose to make positive steps forward in your life, there is a ripple effect that really returns unexpected and beautiful results from places you didn't even expect.
You are a man of faith and gifted with a strong will. The thing that you are setting out to do is actually easier than a bunch of things you've already done in your life. So it will work. You have what it takes.
You know a lot of musicians have had to make the same decisions you're making right now, whether it's due to lifestyle, family, loneliness, addiction, exhaustion, or just losing their way along the road.
The great thing is that when you choose to make positive steps forward in your life, there is a ripple effect that really returns unexpected and beautiful results from places you didn't even expect.
You are a man of faith and gifted with a strong will. The thing that you are setting out to do is actually easier than a bunch of things you've already done in your life. So it will work. You have what it takes.
Please post a picture of you in your spandex shorts!
I'll echo David's sentiments above. You've accomplished a great deal, which I guess is different than FEELING like you've accomplished a great deal. Here's hoping the latter increases.
It's cool that you're biking to work, etc. I used to do a lot bicycling - long rides down down unfamiliar streets and trails. Life, as you know, is a journey. The challenge is that life doesn't present itself as one obvious path to follow. We are presented with many different paths from which to choose. That can be confusing. Many people start down one path, cover a lot of distance, see some great sights, but convince themselves they must be on the wrong path and head all the way back to the fork in the road to begin another path. They start down another path, see the sights, and enjoy the experiences, but start thinking there must be a better path somewhere out there. So, it's back to the fork in the road, etc.
The tricky thing about all of this is that there ARE better and worse paths to take. However, apart from continuing down an obvious path to self-destruction, probably the worst thing a person can do is keeping starting over on different paths. I think I'm discovering it's less about which path we take in life and more about what we learn as we go down the path we've chosen. I think we can learn what we need to learn from just about any path out there - we just need to keep heading down the path.
So, I'm staying on the path I've chosen. I'm just trying to enjoy it more: get more out of it and give more back.
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I'll echo David's sentiments above. You've accomplished a great deal, which I guess is different than FEELING like you've accomplished a great deal. Here's hoping the latter increases.
It's cool that you're biking to work, etc. I used to do a lot bicycling - long rides down down unfamiliar streets and trails. Life, as you know, is a journey. The challenge is that life doesn't present itself as one obvious path to follow. We are presented with many different paths from which to choose. That can be confusing. Many people start down one path, cover a lot of distance, see some great sights, but convince themselves they must be on the wrong path and head all the way back to the fork in the road to begin another path. They start down another path, see the sights, and enjoy the experiences, but start thinking there must be a better path somewhere out there. So, it's back to the fork in the road, etc.
The tricky thing about all of this is that there ARE better and worse paths to take. However, apart from continuing down an obvious path to self-destruction, probably the worst thing a person can do is keeping starting over on different paths. I think I'm discovering it's less about which path we take in life and more about what we learn as we go down the path we've chosen. I think we can learn what we need to learn from just about any path out there - we just need to keep heading down the path.
So, I'm staying on the path I've chosen. I'm just trying to enjoy it more: get more out of it and give more back.
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